Sunday, July 06, 2003

people really do take advantage of my good nature.

as bitter and miserable as i am in my writings, in everyday life i try to be as easy going as i possibly can. i bite my tounge, hold back the screams, and with all the strength i can muster resist the urge to punch people square in the jaw. i'm practically a doormat, hoping that maybe people will treat me with just a tad bit of respect.

right.

i blame myself, for not being more assertive. for letting people walk all over me without wiping their feet first. i try not to put myself before others, i really truly do, but this is fucking pathetic. it's pathetic that i allow myself to be treated this way and it's pathetic that people treat the ones who care about them so much with no respect, completely diregarding how much has happend between us.

once again it comes back to the generic apathy that has slowly been rotting away the ideals as well as the ambitions of each generation since the 1970s. it's a nut it the shitball of life.

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