Tuesday, November 02, 2004

NP:Billie Holiday-Strange Fruit

i feel an emotional breakdown coming on. seriously.

you know how red feels? that's how my body has felt all day. like my skin is holding back something really terrible with all it's might. veins i didn't even know i had are throbbing and i can't remove this scowl from my face.

i feel like a malfunction. things that shouldn't be a problem are. things that shouldn't upset me set me off, or a situation will elicit an incorrect reaction. i thought i had a good grip on things.

this happens every winter. i lose it. i retreat further inward searching for nothing and when i reach that goal i get frustrated.

can't get made though. it's all me. it's always all me. they're always there to remind of that, then they exit, leaving one emotional discomfort after another, emancipating themselves of their ugliness and tossing it onto my pile of shit.

hopefully this is the end of the world.

NP:Bjork-Gloomy Sunday

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