Thursday, July 28, 2005

i've gotta get out of this place.

i surrounded by people who are nothing more than a continuing source of repulsion. if i am fortunate enough to find a flower growing in this hunk of shit, someone has already plucked it, peppering it's once pure heart with vile infection.

ah melodrama, how i loathe to embrace you, but these moments are important. these moments where you are insane with disgust, dusting every word with this powdered cancerous blood that if i'm lucky will pay for the salt for the steak i'll buy with my meal ticket i.e. the hatred i've tried to turn into art.

sense means little to me right now. i'm confused, enraged, horny, all and below of the above. their smiling faces captured in grainy photos plastered all over the idiot boxes for other morons to oggle and dream of possesing. i'm angry with myself for wasting my hatred on you, on this, on everything. i'm angry that the few truly beautiful people have becomed enveolped in your shadows, growing fat on their tits blackened with fire, their postures envenomed with cruelty's opium.

i'm all about over-written rants now. little else comforts me in times like this, times that Dave Grohl says "you learn to live again". i've tried that. it backfired.

and i thought millionaires knew everything.
NP:Marilyn Manson-Coma Black

saw a dead baby bird on the sidewalk. wasn't fully developed. hairless. looked like a toy chicken with it's head still attached. big fat flies were hovering all around it, ants crawling on it's surface. the flies had almost neon yellow designs on their abdomens. looked like a cartoon. swore i saw X's in the bird's eyes. another natural casualty.

dreary kind of day. not as hot as it has been. still a tad muggy. looks like rain.

felt like writing the way this guy talks;

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


finally saw Jim VanBebber's brilliant film The Manson Family. it well exceeded my expecations. it was the perfect blend of violent exploitation, gritty true crime, and giallo cinema. it also for the first time in any adaptation of the case really zeroed in on Bobby Beausoleil (played by VanBebber himself), showing that he was the catalyst for the whole case and not the whole "race war apocalypse" thing that has been popularized.

it's the movie Natural Born Killers should have been. that film was an attempt to comment on how the media mythifies murderers, turning them into kind of folk heroes. problem is Oliver Stone didn't do much to make us hate his Mickey and Mallory characters, so his point was lost. where that movie failed, Manson Family succeeds. it comments briefly on the media focusing in on Manson, turning him into a t-shirt icon, than spends the rest of the time desconstructing the myth by showing the actual killers as the cackling monsters they more than likely were. Manson is more or less a figurehead, he isn't even in the film that much, but his influence is there, almost like a real life Keyser Soze. the film does everything in it's power to ignore glamour and delve straight into the blood and guts of reality, and it works. you're not cheering these people on. they aren't revolutionaries or folk heroes, they're loathsome drug addicts who have allowed what little humanity they have be swept up in the paranoid dellusions of a manical con artist.

it has already made it into my top 10 favorite horror films, and it's among one of the best films i have ever seen.


Tuesday, July 26, 2005

for no reason at all, here be my favorite lady-fronted bands (heavy or otherwise);

Nuclear Death
Thorr's Hammer
Scrotum Grinder
Fuck the Facts
Dresden Dolls
Gall Hammer
Gun Point Romance
Crisis (first 2 albums)
Made out of Babies
Nausea (not exactly "fronted", but a big part of the sound)
Black Howler
Flatigious Idiosyncracy in the Dilapidation
Melt Banana

in the middle of typing this i just found out a girl i messed around with in high school 5 years ago is now a stripper. that has got to be some kind of weird coiencdence, since all women want to either be metal screamer or know i'll just stop talking right now.

i truly am the master of dodging bullets.