Wednesday, November 08, 2006

NP:Laughing Hyenas-Just Can't Win

Just Can't Sleep.

so i guess the democrats have control of the house and senate. things could get interesting, so at least we'll be entertained. that's all politics really is, the WWE. let's just hope Kevin Federline isn't elected governor.

came close to vomiting a weekend's worth of accumulated lung-butter onto this fat-shit moron in my poetry workshop. he said something about my writing not having anything "grounding" him. most seem to agree. the general consensous in that class seems to be that i'm not "open" enough or "concrete" enough in my writing. excuse me, but you've got like 100000 other writing majors milking the whole "confessional" pseudo-memoir kind of writing ala Sharon Olds/Augusten Burroughs/any number of hip self-consciously "quirky" authors that seem to have themselves (and their readers) convinced that they're "edgy" and because they can look at a piece of poop smeared across drywall and gain some kind of deep insight about the world from the color the mix of ass and shellac produces, that every thing they think and do is fair game for the kind of earnest satire that is slowly trivializing and romaticizing being a self-centered fuck-up with dangerous mental problems...but i digress. the point is i'm not interesting enough to write like that (neither are most of these people, but that's another story all together), so i went a different route. more vauge/cryptic/abstract. it's not about me being pretensious or me going out of my way to be an enigma, it's just where i feel at home, where my most inspired stuff comes from. most importantly..IT IS HOW THE FUCK I FEEL. i'm confused and frustrated and disgusted and most of the time i'm looking in on a world that i have no clue why i want to be a part of, but for some reason i do wanna be a part of it.

i'm not a pill-popping alcohol abusing nympho with mommy issues. i'm not an asexual man-boy who is laughed at because he's different (and who laughs at you because you're all the same). i'm just your run-of-the-mill bitter suburban jack-ass. i just write it down and then yell it in a hardcore band.

don't look to me to be "grounded". that's gravity's job. and from the looks of some of you...gravity's got ahhhhhhh reallyfuckinghardjob.

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