Friday, July 21, 2006

NP:The Jesus and Mary Chain-Just Like Honey

you can get fucked up on all kinds of things. i've never been much of a drug user. my alcohol intake is infrequent. however, i feel like some kind of junkie. perhaps that's a pretensious, stupid thing to say...sort of like the "liberal" trust fund student who thinks reading Toni Morrison makes them "connect with the struggling black soul" or whatever. they, much like myself, are addicts. they're addicted to guilt. they're addicted to grief. i mainline the misery of the world and let it coagulate my already curdled blood, easing my restless veins only through temporary catharsis. Grief and Guilt were the gateway drugs to my current addictions, or maybe it's vice versa. namely music and writing. it's amazing...avenues where i could be a figurehead of dominance and i choose to wallow in pit of self-inflincted wound. i could write my way in and out of all kinds of exotic locations and beautiful women and happy endings, yet i choose to harp on high school crushes in extremis. i could win the hearts or slit the throats, yet still i choose to make myself come up short. maybe i wanna stay grounded? maybe i don't wanna be the hero or the villian, maybe i just wanna be the wanna be who wants to be be but is unaware how to be.

it's late and i smell like self-love.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

song titles modified as to incorporate the word "pussyfart" into the vernacular.

Danzig - How the Gods Pussyfart
Simon and Garfunkel - A Hazy Shade of Pussyfart
Slowdive - Some Velvet Pussyfart
Clutch - A Shogun Named Pussyfart
Swans - God Damn the Pussyfart
Morbid Angel - Chapel of Pussyfarts
Flogging Molly - What's Left of the Pussyfart
Red House Painters - Song for a Blue Pussyfart
Wilson Philips - Hold on for One More Pussyfart
Billy Holiday - God Bless The Pussyfart
Stooges - I Wanna Be Your Pussyfart
WHAM! - Pussyfart Before You Go-Go
Superdrag - Who Sucked Out the Pussyfart?
Cryptopsy - Open Face Pussyfart
Crowbar - Pussyfart is Punishment
Whale - Hobo Humping Slobo Pussyfart
the Replacements - Bastards of the Pussyfart
Ween - Pussyfart the Little Daisies
Morrissey - Every Pussyfart is Like Sunday
Big Black - Colombian Pussyfart
more gay than dancing in a room full of 20 inch rainbow-ejaculating pink vibrators while Erasure's cover of "Take a Chance on Me" is forever on repeat.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

so i started writing a play. it's called Bricks are Delicious. so far i've written one scene involving a woman named Naked who recounts the birth of her abandoned child before getting her nose bitten off, fisting the corpse of her attacker who died choking on her nose only to be blasted with the shit that comes spewing out of his ass in a torrent (people shit their pants after they die), and then gets beaten to death by dwarf-cocks. the other scene i wrote is a musical number. the song is "Never Ever" by All Saints as sung by a choir of battered women. here it is;

on the stage. A piano . a young woman walks out to the stage. Hair a mess. She’s got a big swollen black eye, torn clothes, bruises and cigarette burns and scrapes scattered around her body. She faces the audience and takes a mild bow before sitting on the bench. She starts to play the piano.

Battered Girl (singing): A few questions that I need to know:
How you could ever hurt me so.
I need to know what I've done wrong,
And how long it's been going on.
Curtain in the back comes up, revealing a choir of women in the dark humming the harmony.
Was it that I never paid enough attention,
Or did I not give enough affection?
Not only will your answers keep me sane,
But I'll know never to make the same mistake again.
Lights come up and we see the choir of women are also bruised and beaten.
You can tell me to my face
Or even on the phone.
You can write it in a letter.
Either way I've have to know.
Several start to step up front..
Did I never treat you right?
Did I always start the fight?
Either way I'm going out of my mind.
All the answers to my questions I have to find.

and a different one sings a different verse.

Burnt Hair Woman: My head's spinning
Boy, I'm in a daze
I feel isolated
Don't wanna communicate
I take a shower
I will scour
I will roam
Find peace of mind
The happy mind
I once owned, yeah

Iron Face Woman: Flexing vocabulary runs right through me
The alphabet runs right from A to Zee
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find
I'm not crazy
I'm sure I ain't done nothin' wrong, no
I'm just waitingCos I heard that this feeling won't last that long

all together for CHORUS:
Never ever have I ever felt so low
When you gonna take me out of this black hole
Never ever have I ever felt so sad
The way I'm feeling, yeah, you got me feeling really bad
Never ever have I had to find
I've had to dig a way to find my own piece of mind
I've never ever had my conscience to fight
The way I'm feeling, yeah, it just don't feel right

Taped-Up Wrist Woman: I'll keep searching
Deep within my soul
For all the answers
Don't wanna hurt no more (she looks at her wrists)
I need peace
Got to feel at ease
Need to be free from pain
Go insane
My heart aches, yeah

Neck brace Lady: Sometimes vocabulary runs through my head
The alphabet runs right from A to Zed
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find
I'm not crazy
I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong
Now I'm just waiting
Cos I heard that this feeling won't last that long (hold her neck and makes a pained grimace)

all together REPEAT CHORUS 4x

BRIDGE:
Wired Jaw Woman: You can tell me to my face
You can tell me on the phone
Ooh, you can write it in a letter, babe
Cos I really need to know (sounds muffled)

song ends. All the women slink to the back except the one at the piano. She closes the keys, stands up and takes a bow. Her husband stumbles onto the stage drunk, holding a pot of hot coffee. pours hot coffee all over the woman, throws the pot across the stage, pot breaks, then pulls her off the stage by her hair. Smoke rising from her person, the woman catches roses and blows kisses to the crowd. We hear loud slaps and punches and cursing as the Curtains close.